![]() ![]() Is this a useful response for you to others’ behavior? Probably not. It’s like walking around with a big pushbutton on your forehead that says “Push here to aggravate”. They do what they do, and then you automatically get angry about it, and feel quite upset for a while- possibly very upset. ![]() This is a very important element of the equation- reality. If you think about it, what the other person SHOULD do is not necessarily what they DO do, right? The anger is based on a faulty assumption, which is that the other person SHOULD behave in the way you want them to. REBT theory says that it is generally irrational and self-defeating to get all worked up about someone else’s behavior. This can sound strange at first, but when dealing with problematic anger and frustration this is the way it works. The responsibility for the anger is yours, not theirs. You notice their behavior and then become angry. ![]() They are not making you anything- they are simply behaving in a way that you are getting angry about. A more accurate description of “someone making me angry” is to say that you feel angry about their behavior. This is a very common way of expressing something and we hear it often, but in fact it distorts the situation it attempts to describe. The ABCs are an exercise that help stop you from being victimized by your own thinking.Ī common example is the issue of someone else’s behavior “making you angry”. We use it to examine the beliefs we have (or the thinking we are doing) as some of this may be causing us problems. You can learn to do this straight out of a book, or off the computer screen. The ABCs are an exercise from REBT, which is a form of cognitive therapy that is simple enough and effective enough to be used by anybody and – it works. If you get some paper and a pencil to use while you read this, you can learn this technique in 10 minutes. #Abc box pdf pdf#Join the New SMART Insiders+ ProgramĪn Introduction to the ABCs of REBT (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy)Ī PDF version of this article is available here: For example, to write a list of countries in alphabetical order, we start with countries that begin with the letter A, then with countries that begin with B, and so on.Help End the Addiction Epidemic. We often write lists in alphabetical order. This order is called "alphabetical order". The English alphabet starts with the letter a and finishes with the letter z.
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